A Magnificent Top Hat
by theladycirce
Summary: Harry and Hermione learn about the fiasco that was Frost the Snowman. Oneshot. AU Christmas fic. Set in either 5th or 6th year.


It was early Christmas morning at Hogwarts when Ron stumbled down the stairs of the snow capped Gryffindor Tower. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he collapsed into one of the squashy armchairs in front of the fire, and took in the sight of his two best friends bantering good-naturedly beneath the enormous Christmas tree. Hermione had bits of tinsel hanging from her long hair, from when Harry had jestingly thrown it at her just moments before. She was wearing a traditional jumper from Mrs. Weasley over her dressing gown and looking very pleased with herself. Harry was fairing worse with what seemed to be a large woolen sack on his head, which fell over his face and dropped on to his shoulders. Hermione, grinning widely, informed him that it was, in fact, a hat that she had made him.

Hermione turned and smiled brilliantly at him, pulling tinsel from her hair and holding out a lumpy package, "Happy Christmas, Ron! Look! I've made you one too!"

"Oi, up is he?" came Harry's muffled voice from within the wool. "'Bout time!"

Ron took the outstretched parcel and in return tossed a present each to Hermione and Harry (who was still blinded and was subsequently hit in the head) and grumbled "You two are going to wake the whole Tower if you keep carrying on like this."

"Ron, we're the only ones actually in the Tower! Everyone else went home for Christmas!", Hermione reminded him.

"And now that we've gotten your lazy arse out of bed, there's no one else _to_ wake up and we can get on with opening the rest of these presents", put in Harry, whose hair was messier than usual, as he pulled of the "hat", and gestured around at the pile that lay at his feet.

At this, Ron woke up a bit. Having come from a family of seven children, getting presents that were addressed singularly to him was always an exciting experience. He slid from the chair to the floor in between his friends and tore open the present from Hermione.

A wooly brown blob slid onto his lap as he removed the last of the paper. "Er, a hat you said?" Ron asked, eyeing it doubtfully.

"Oh yes!" said Hermione, not noticing Ron's trepidation. "I figured if I could make them for House Elves, I could make them for people too!"

"Er, thanks." Said Ron, glancing at Harry who was shaking with silent laughter. "It's really - thanks."

"I hoped you'd like it! Now lets started on the rest of these! Harry this ones from Mrs. Weasley, it feels like the sweater she always sends…"

The next hour was spent joyfully unwrapping presents, throwing the shredded paper at one another, and eating the sandwiches that Dobby had so thoughtfully brought up for them. Then as they sat, full to bursting and content in front of the fire, Hermione began to hum to herself. Ron looked at her quizzically, but she just smiled and kept humming. Harry sat up a little straighter, a light of recognition in his eyes as he grinned at her. They began to put the words to the tune, singing a little louder, until at last it was audible to Ron.

_Frosty, the Snowman, was a jolly happy soul._

_With a corncob pipe and a button nose,_

_And two eyes made out of coal._

Harry and Hermione, were laughing now as they sang. Ron frowned, listening closely to the words as if they were a half-remembered story.

_Frosty the Snowman, is a fairytale they say,_

_He was made of snow but the children know,_

_How he came to life one day._

_There must have been some magic in tha-_

"Hold on a second!" Ron cut in.

"What?" Hermione said looking cross that he had interrupted their impromptu caroling.

"What is this song about?"

"A snowman that comes to life and frolics with the children during Christmas. Its really a lovely story" she told him.

"Does this Snow-thing happen to have a magic hat?" Ron asked

"Yes, we were just getting to that part when you interrupted." She replied still looking cross. "But then-how did you know?" she asked, looking puzzled.

"Because," he replied, "It sounds like a story Mum told us when we were kids!"

"Wizards sing about Frosty too?" Harry asked.

"We certainly don't! I don't know why Muggles would either. That story terrified me when I was younger."

"What on earth are you on about, Ron?" asked Harry curiously. "It's just a Muggle Christmas song! "

"I can't believe you don't know this, Hermione! I want to savor this for a second." said Ron, pausing to make himself comfortable in the armchair he currently occupied. Once he was situated, he began."D'you remember that bloke my dad was talking about over the hols? The one who blew up the toilets?"

"Yeah," Harry replied. "Winddershins, right?"

Ron nodded. "Well, my dad says that the only reason the Ministry had any reason to keep tabs on Winddershins in the first place was because of his Father. Apparently he was real Anti-Muggle back in the day."

"What does this have to do with Frosty?" asked Hermione

"I'm getting to that." Clearing his throat, he continued. "Anyways, so the Winddershins that my dad is dealing with apparently inherited his fathers love of enchanting ordinary Muggle things in order to mess with them. He enchanted an ordinary top hat to make whatever inanimate object it sat on, animate. I think the idea was hat stands that run away from you and dressers cower in corners." Said Ron, shrugging his shoulders as he continued. "So he enchants this hat, right? And then he give it to a charity for some poor unsuspecting Muggle to pick up and forgets about it." He paused," You guys know about that weird Muggle tradition for building people out of snow?"

"Of course we do, Ron! We were just singing about it!" said Harry exasperatedly

"And for your information they're called Snowmen." Put in Hermione

"Well," Ron continued, "Some kids picked it up from the charity and used it to decorate their isnowman/i. So of course the thing came to life. I guess Winddershins put a lot of malice into that charm or he did something wrong because it ran into the town and started terrorizing all of the Muggle shoppers. Of course, the Muggles thought it was just a practical joke, you know how they'll do anything to avoid seeing magic, so they sent the Please-men after it ("_They're called Police men, Ron, honestly."_). They apparently chased it for a week, across five separate counties, before it melted enough that they were able to catch up with it. And then when it just melted in there hands with no explanation as to how it had been moving gin the first place, well, you can imagine the trouble that Magical Law Enforcement had covering that mess up. I think my dad said it was the worst breach in the International Statute of Secrecy in a hundred years."

"Was Winddershins punished terribly?" Hermione wondered.

"Yeah, I think he's still in Azkaban."

"For making a demented snowman?" Harry laughed.

"That demented snowman hurt a bunch of people and caused thousands of galleons worth of damage. When I said it was malicious, that was and understatement. It threw ice through storefront windows , set fire to homes with people still inside them, and just in general terrorized people. And all of those reparations had to be taken out of _our_ ministry to keep the Muggles from figuring out what happened." Ron explained as Hermione winced. "It was a disaster."

"But how do you know all of this?" She asked.

"Every kid is told that story. I think Mum made Fred and George listen to it about twelve times" he said. "Fat lot of good it's done them." He added, snorting. "It's a bit like a warning, I s'pose. How magic can go wrong, or some tosh like that. I remember when I was younger that every time I passed a snowman in the Muggle town I was always afraid it would eat me."

"So," said Harry. "You're telling me that one of the most well known Muggle Christmas songs is based off of a Muggle baiting gone wrong?"

"I guess so. Though why anyone would make a song out of it is beyond me." Ron shrugged.

They sat there in silence for a while, staring at the fire, which was starting to die. Then Harry broke the stillness.

"Its not every day you get to teach us something is it, Ron?" He goaded, grinning.

"Oi, you! Stuff it!" He replied, laughing as he began swatting his best friend around the head with a couch cushion. They continued to batter each other with the furniture until Hermione let out a gleeful shout of laughter.

"What?" Harry and Ron said in unison, feathers floating down to coat them and the Common Room.

"Oh, nothing", replied Hermione smiling innocently. "But if what Ron said was true, that may explain Malfoy's look of abject terror when he saw the snowman I made out on the grounds yesterday. It had a rather _magnificent top_ hat"

The three of them dissolved into laughter once more.


End file.
